I'm not really sure who I am writing this to, or really why. But writing does heal, to some extent.
We still want to foster to adopt, but it sure isn't easy to follow your heart sometimes! Especially when other people are not on board where your heart is leading.
We found out that while Madison's DCFS team are finally not opposed to us having visits with her, it has to go through her Judge. Which has obstacles of its own. We grieve Madison still, and always will I'm afraid.
With the other girl for whom we have been selected as foster to adopt parents for Shelly (also not her real name), BUT her team doesn't think she's ready for parents. Like many professionals, they expect her to somehow get stable BEFORE she goes to a permanent home. But we have learned that it takes permanency before they eventually become stable.
So it's tiring, and we wish sometimes we could just move on to the next stage of life without this step. But something keeps us here, and we believe it's the sense that our family is not yet complete.
