Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Sad update

It's been a very difficult week. It's hard to even describe. We had been told our foster daughter WAS coming back, by several important people. Until last Tuesday night, we were convinced everyone was on board with it, and all that remained was a transition plan that worked for Madison. we were even under the impression we were going to see her within a few days. But the therapist is not really on our side, and convinced many of the team that we were not good enough for Madison, who had told her I yelled a lot at her. I did raise my voice maybe half a dozen times at her. Which I wish I hadn't, but no one is perfect, right? The plan now is supposedly the therapist is going to ask Madison if she wants to just hang out with us. Her previous foster mother said Madison NEVER wants to see people from her past because it's too emotional. But they want this young girl to sort out her own future I guess. So unless DCFS gets their act together to figure out how to get us to begin working things out with Madison, she will probably never come back to us as a minor child. She could age out of foster care. Prognosis for kids in that scenario is TERRIBLE. The majority get involved in drugs, end up in jail, or girls end up pregnant. We really have worked hard to change. We have learned a new parenting approach specifically designed for kids from trauma. It seems that the more people see we care a lot about Madison, the more they accuse us of having an agenda and doing what WE need instead of what Madison needs. A least there is one caseworker who believes that our agenda is what is best for Madison, to give her a permanent, loving home. We have been convinced all along that despite having her leave, believing it was in HER best interest, that with the right support, Madison would flourish in a home that's now very prepared for her needs. We have decided to step back. They know how to contact us. If nothing changes, and they allow this poor girl to remain in foster care because there are NO permanency plans, we might take more action to see that SOMEONE is looking out for her best interests. And maybe to help others to avoid going through the trauma we have been through. We continue to try to have faith in God, despite all the many obstacles.