Grandkids!

I love my grandchildren: Josh, the enthusiastic way he hugs me when he sees me, his prickly damp hair after a hard game of basketball, his cute drawings he makes for me to hang on the refrigerator; Ashlyn, her sparkly eyes, her caring compassionate ways she asks, "I'm good, how are YOU??"; her frequent desire to please; Kylee, her enthusiasm for life, her desire to do it all herself RIGHT NOW!; her willingness and interest in learning; Garden, the way she articulates so clearly, recites her memorized poems and nursery rhymes with expressive gusto! her sweet hugs and giggles; Nathan, when he stops running long enough to say, "I love you Grandma," and you know he feels it; that he ALWAYS want to stay busy, like me!; that he loves his little brother and treats him with a gentleness we don't see very often!; Sophia, with how she bubbles up with joy when she sees me or her brother and sister, or other family; how she signs everything she wants, even though she is barely 1, how she is so easily entertained and pleasant to be around; and little Jayden, who takes everything in with such an interested expression, like you just know he is trying to understand all the chaos and activity milling around him, and planning his future in it all; and the sweet smiles that just melt your heart! Ahh, it's great being a grandma!

The Circle of Life

Tonight I learned that my mother, already in the throes of dementia, and apparently Alzheimer's, has had several serious strokes lately. My brother, Ken, says she probably has been having them for awhile now. It is possible this may be the last year of her life; if not months or weeks. For years now, her memory has been gone. Conversations with her over the phone, go in circles, "Who is this? Where do you live now? What do you do?"

Tonight, I talked with her, and she responded in a frail voice, with the same questions. And then she said, "Do a good job. Stick to the Gospel." Apparently she tells that to just about everyone.

My mother has not been perfect; she has had her difficult moments, and caused difficult moments for others on occasion. But overall, she has taught me to love the Lord, to want to help others, and to be committed to what I know in my heart to be true. None of us are perfect parents, I guess.

So when she dies, I will be sad, probably more than I know. But happy, that she will get to be with my Dad again, and be free of her faulty mind and body. Free to be happy again.