Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Vacation

So we're back from our little jaunt to the West Coast. Running around San Francisco was fun; seeing Mark's father and his family was okay. Hanging out with my sister was fun, as always. Being with Sarah, Sophia and Lisa was fun nearly all the time. AND Rachael and Kevin's wedding was very nice. Did miss Kylee's 7th birthday party, which was sad, and missed people here. Hard to be gone from that aspect, but I do like a change of pace!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Take no thought what ye shall eat

I've set a goal this year to lose 18 pounds by June 30th, and 25 pounds this year. So far, I've not made a lot of progress. And one of the problems about being on vacation is that it's easy to lose track of food consumption.

So sitting at this computer I turned to the New Testament. I'm reading in Luke, where the Savior says, "Consider the lilies, take no thought what ye shall eat or drink..." And I thought, how might this apply to me? Does it just apply to the apostles in the New Testament? Because when I take no thought, I tend to overdo it!

And then I tried to think about this in the larger picture. He said, Take no thought... but instead think about the Kingdom. So instead of focusing on the food, or, even the hunger, think about the Lord, or say a prayer, or use something spiritual?

The first Sunday of the month in our Church is Fast Sunday, and I try to go 2 meals without food. Hard to do, but one way it is easier is when I start to feel really hungry, I begin to pray about the thing I'm fasting for, and the hunger seems to ease. Could this apply to everyday life? If so, how?

Well, I'm a therapist, and it is often my job to help people come up with solutions for their lives. But I'm not a therapist here, so I welcome your ideas. Does this scripture apply to us generally? I realize it probably was given to apostles, and missionaries, but even Peter asks, "Does this mean just us, or to us all?" It seemed that in the Savior's answer, it was to those who are truly seeking to do what He would want. Which category I TRY to fall into. Thoughts, comments, concerns? Thanks for your help and for reading my random thoughts. Have a great day!

On Vacation

Here we are in Santa Rosa. I'm typing in a dark room; Sarah and Lisa are asleep in one bed; Sophia is in her crib (I can hear little sucking sounds, does she suck her thumb? I don't know); and Mark is asleep behind me. We had a fun day in San Francisco yesterday; despite fog, mist, and coolness. When I get out in the real world away from the seclusion of our little Valley, I feel more in touch with the pulse of humanity. There are so many different kinds of people in the world! And so many things to see. I love seeing it all. And hopefully, visiting family members in the next few day will ALSO be a pleasant experience! Wish us luck!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Weekends, Music, and Family

I love weekends. I love free time, but of course, there would be no appreciating free time without the busy-ness of life! There needs to be opposition in all things, as the Book of Mormon says, if we are to grow.

And I love music. For example, on the TV right now, (KBYU commercial) is "I Hope you Dance." I love that song, and I love dancing to music I love. (Not that I let anyone but the grandkids see. They tend not to notice that my dancing looks like dancing from the 70s and 80s!) But music can definitely affect my moods. Just listened to last week's Mormon Tab broadcast; the final song was one composed for the choir by John Williams, Call of the Champions, the theme for the 2002 Olympics. It was amazing, as is his music. And the song before that, Redeemer of Israel-- with the choir and a full orchestra. I think, more than anything else, music can bring the Spirit of the Lord more quickly, and help people feel the true purpose of life more readily than words. However, I've been reading the New Testament lately. I love reading the words of the Savior-- I hope to know Him better.

I'm grateful for the positive power of music! I'm so impressed with people who compose amazing music, like Lisa's boyfriend, David Stillman. He's a wonderful composer, and not even 19 yet. Can't wait to see where his career goes after his mission. My son, Kevin, is a very gifted composer also. I also expect great things out of each of children and their spouses though. Can't wait to see where they all head in life--they don't always realize it, but they are each very loving, talented and amazing people, and I am so grateful to have them in our family!

My predictions for THEIR future: Brian is going to marry a wonderful woman, and find a career he really loves; Anna is going to graduate with her wonderful husband Lance's help and she will help many people throughout her career; and their children are going to grow up to be happy people; Kevin is going to become a great film director and Michelle is going to find a job she loves, and eventually they will have happy children too; Sarah and Gary are going to find a home they can settle down in and raise their beautiful children together; Lisa is going to get married to the man of her dreams, and find happiness and success in whatever she decides to do. And we will be together a forever family, for which, above all things, I am most grateful.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I am home from work. My nice husband is in the kitchen fixing our dinner (he's pretty good at that), and I'm looking forward to potentially FOUR hours before I fall asleep on the couch during a show I am sure I have been dying to see. What should I do for four hours? Mop the floor? It's been waiting for me for awhile. Type up a new post? Okay, I'm doing that. Sew something? Kylee's birthday is next week, I could surprise her with a new dress. But that involves a lot of thought and work. Play the piano? Scrapbook? I'm out of the piano/scrapbook habit. Read my John Grisham novel? Maybe. Exercise? No, did that already. Hmm, what is worse than free time, with no clear way to spend it? (No free time? yes, I think so.) I think I'll sew Kylee a dress. After dinner. Maybe.

I'm a very decisive person.

Monday, January 12, 2009

A new week begins!

It was a crazy busy weekend: Sarah and Gary were up with their adorable daughter Sophia, who we were lucky enough to have here on her first birthday. She loved her presents, all, and took off walking with her new stroller/walker. She'll be taking her first steps soon. We always enjoy having Anna and Lance's children here, they are all so cute, and ALL busy. Being a grandma is great, you get the best parts and only SOME of the worst parts of parenting. (And yes, then you get to send them home!)


So now a new weeks starts. As a mental health therapist, so many people ask, "How do you DO what you do?" Or they tell me, "I could never do what you do." I admit, sometimes I wonder myself WHY I do what I do. At the community mental health agency where I work we get some of the most critically mentally ill, as well as those with more "normal" mental health issues we all struggle with from time to time. Issues range from depression and anxiety (and who doesn't on occasion have these? including ME!) to schizophrenia, dissociative disorders, bipolar disorder. Some have hallucinations on a regular basis, or have been horribly abused. Truthfully, though, I learn a LOT from clients. (And I'm not just saying that because I'm blogging.) I have thought, briefly, about writing a book entitled, "What I've Learned from My Clients." Mostly, I'm so impressed with many of my clients' ability to hang in there despite SO hard of challenges! I feel privileged to work with them. I'm not always sure what I would be like if my life had been as difficult as some of theirs.

AND let me tell you, I try not to do this alone. Though it's difficult to admit, because like most of us, I DO keep my religous/spiritual feelings fairly well hidden (okay, not to my own family so much), I get a lot of help from Heavenly Father. So many times I'm on my way downstairs to pick up a new client, and I find myself praying, "Okay, Heavenly Father, I really don't know what to do with this one, will you help me?" And He does. I get thoughts of what to say, or a direction I need to take with the client that day. And I'm grateful for that.

So there you go, I start off talking about how it feels to be a therapist, and launch into my spiritual beliefs. BUT part of the reason I'm doing this blog is so that I CAN share some of my beliefs, that generally speaking, I keep well hidden. With clients, we talk about how spirituality impacts their lives (it's a growing field in mental health counseling, fortunately). But generally speaking, I don't bring up my beliefs. With co-workers, it's actually written INTO the code of conduct at work not to talk about religion. Even with my family, they know Mark and I attend church religiously (that's a pun); but I rarely share with them my deeper feelings. And interestingly, though we live in a community that is probably 80% LDS, and VERY active, other than in church, religion doesn't get talked about much. What's up with that?

So back to therapy, I LOVE doing it! I constantly wish I were better at it, and I know I have SO much to learn. But I think that is part of the reason I love it, and every client is a new opportunity to share what I know, to help him or her, and to learn from the client about how they have survived. (There are definitely times when therapy IS the worst job, however, like when a client decides NOT to survive anymore. I've lost one that way, which was SO difficult, but that's another blog, maybe, for another day.)

So for the most part, however, for one who needs variety in life, this is the perfect job, because no two clients are just alike. And do I bring their lives home with me? Sometimes, when a session has been very difficult, but generally speaking, I come home and put the therapy behind me. I do something completely different, like clean my house (that's always fun--not); or scrapbook, or exercise, or talk to my kids, grandkids, and hubby. Generally, clients' lives do NOT affect me like my own family members' lives do--and that's probably good, or I wouldn't be able to keep doing this. I'm just grateful to be able to be a therapist, but more important, a wife, a mom, a daughter of God, and well, me. OH, and just so you know? I don't therapize family members or friends, well, hardly ever! Once I've left the office, I leave that behind me, and become just a regular ol' person who tries not to think too much! It's better that way.

So, happy Monday, all!

Karen

Saturday, January 10, 2009

I started my blog, sort of, one year ago. Must have been a New Year's resolution last year too! But I decided to try it out, to let people know a little bit more about me.

Some people may think we live a rather boring life: quiet, small town in Northern Utah, though we have had our share of living in more densely populated areas: especially Sacramento, where four of our five children were born. Only one of our children, our youngest, was also born in Utah, and ironically, in the same hospital in which I was born, only 31 years later.

So my husband and I met in California at a church dance, 30 years ago this summer. I was waiting for a missionary to return, and fairly certain I was going to marry him, but instead, met and then married my sweet husband. I didn't know a relationship could feel so right until we decided to get married. It has been a very good choice: we are very compatible, and get along most of the time. (There are those exceptions, like with everyone.)

I did the traditional Mormon wife and mother thing, I stayed home, for the most part, and had our five children in the space of ten years. But during that time I would continue to take a few classes, work a few small jobs on the side, while I tried hard to enjoy our children. (Anyone with children KNOWS that sometimes is a LOT harder than it looks.) Then, after fifteen years of marriage, I decided to go back to school, got my degree in Social Work, and then six years later, completed my graduate degree in Social Work. In the past 8 years I have been a practicing mental health therapist, a career I thoroughly enjoy.

Still, my main joy is my family, which I believe, since I am a very active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is eternal, a privilege that anyone in the world can enjoy now or in the future, if they would like. (And yes, often times I DO want to live with them forever!) Our family has grown to 17 people now! Five children, three of whom are married to great people, with seven grandchildren, who I completely, head over heels love!! (Of course, I don't have to raise them on a daily basis, for which I am ALSO profoundly grateful.)

Now, lest you think I am somehow thinking we are PERFECT or even somewhere in that general neighborhood, no. We are far from perfect, but we keep trying, and, thank goodness for repentance!!

So that's the background of my life. The setting is a very pretty town in a valley in Northern Utah, and at this moment, I can see from my den window, a beautiful view of snow covered Rocky Mountains, tinged with pink from the setting sun. My yard out the window is small, but also picturesque as snow decorates everything in sparkling white. It's cold outside, and though it doesn't allow my husband Mark and I to go on our much loved bike rides, at least we can look outside and enjoy the beauty of this beautiful Valley.